Interviews
The Feminist Queries: Ananda Kiamsha Madelyn Leeke
Published February 22, 2009 @ 09:05AM PT
For my third Feminist Query interview, I spoke with Ananda Kiamsha Madelyn Leeke who is what I see as a modern day Renaissance woman. She is a life entrepreneur, creativity coach, author, artist, yoga teacher, Reiki practitioner and radio host. Phew, just writing that down makes me exhausted! But today, Ananda is going to share her views of the women's rights movement, sacred feminism, the belief of self care and how loving yourself is the most important thing you can do.
When did you first identify with the women's movement and why?
I was seven years old the first time that I instinctively identified with the women's movement. The year was 1972. My mother was actively involved in Congresswoman Shirley Chisholm's campaign for President of the United States. Some of my favorite magazines to look at were Essence and Ms. I wanted to wear my hair in an Afro just like my mother and activist Angela Davis. That year I decided to ask Father Ward for permission to become the first altar girl at St. Joseph's Catholic Church. Although Father Ward was someone that I loved, respected, and adored, I could not accept his response that the Catholic Church did not allow girls to be altar servers. I told him that the Catholic Church was wrong. I knew in my heart of hearts that I had a right to be whatever I wanted to be. Right then and there I became a feminist.
How does a sense of spirituality relate to the feminist movement?
The greatest gift that the feminist movement gave me was choice... the choice to the discover, honor, accept, express, and reinvent myself in ways that I deem to be valuable. Spirituality is one way that I have used to discover and honor myself as a woman who is free and equal to all people. In my late twenties, I realized that the feminist movement created space for people to explore the sacred feminine within themselves as feminine energy and in religions and sacred practices. It encouraged so many writers and researchers to document the sacred feminine in books and other publications. As a beneficiary of this powerful work, I was able to embrace and understand the power of balancing and honoring both the sacred masculine and feminine energies within myself and in saints, spiritual leaders, cultural gods and goddesses, archetypes, rituals, and other practices.
Please explain the idea of self-care and how it relates to your belief system.
Self-care is the daily intention and practice of honoring your spirit, heart, mind, and body with love, healing, healthy living, positive experiences, nurturing relationships and communities, and fulfilling work. My belief system is rooted in loving and accepting myself more each day. Self-love means that I take time to care for myself.
What is one way each of us can show love for ourselves and one another on a daily basis?
When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself four times that you love and accept yourself while looking in the mirror. It is a powerful experience to look at yourself as you say this affirmation: I love and accept myself.
If you could ask feminists everywhere just one question, what would it be?
Are you willing to look beyond our generations, ethnicities, religions, orientations, socioeconomic classes, nationalities, and labels that we each use to identify ourselves so that we can work together on shared interests while respecting our differences?
The Feminist Queries: Etiquette Lessons from Anna Post
Published February 10, 2009 @ 02:07PM PT
For the second round Feminist Queries, I have interviewed Anna Post, who is Emily Post's great-great-granddaughter, as well as an author and spokesperson for The Emily Post Institute.
Before joining the family business, Anna worked for the Washington, D.C. office of Senator Patrick Leahy (D-Vt) as well as the Motion Picture Association of America. Raised in Charlotte, Vermont, she is a graduate of Phillips Andover Academy and holds a bachelor’s degree in political science from the University of Vermont. Anna currently blogs at "What Would Emily Post Do?" in addition to her work at the Emily Post Institute where she serves as an author, writer, speaker and gives wedding and business etiquette classes around the country.
I decided to interview Anna because I thought that the idea of "feminist etiquette" could be a compelling topic for women to discuss and think about. What I got from our interview was much more interesting than I ever expected and I learned that the idea of manners and etiquette can relate with the women's rights movement in many ways.
Take a moment to look through the interview, as well as the question she has for all of you at the end.
Do you consider yourself part of the women's rights movement at all? In what way?
I was brought up on the bumper sticker definition that "Feminism is the radical idea that women are people too." And I do view the feminist movement as one that seeks for women to be treated equally in society and in the workplace.
While I do not label myself a feminist, I realize that being able to say that says a lot about the benefits I have received from the work of other women who have declared themselves feminists. I do believe in people doing things for other people, and I see that as a sign of showing respect for both men and women equally.
How has your experience at the Emily Post Institute changed your opinion of how women should or shouldn't act within society?
I've never once had a question from a woman who expected a man to open the door for her. Some say they appreciate it, but no one has been angry if it doesn't happen. In today's society, it is important to use your words to clarify your actions. If you are a man and want to open a door for a woman, just ask her, "May I get the door for you?" The same goes for pulling out chairs and other acts of "chivalry." Many women today do not embrace these actions, but many men have been taught that performing them is the way to show women respect. Today, it's most respectful to give women a choice.
There are certain principles of etiquette that go beyond the manners. Manners consist of societal expectations that change over time. In fact, today manners and the sexes are not as much about how women should or shouldn't act in society, but how men do. A lot of what I do lately is give advice to men who learned certain manners that no longer apply. The manners for how men treat women do vary around the country, and have been changing rapidly over the past several generations. Most men want to do the "right thing", but it's no longer clear what that is. It changes from place to place, and even woman to woman, so they often feel that they are "damned if they do, damned if they don't."
What are three rules of feminist etiquette that you can provide the Change.org readers?
Rule 1: Be pre-emptive. Here's a frustrating situation: You've hosted a business lunch, and as the host, you're expected to pay. But the waiter brings a check to the man at the table. If the man at the table insists on paying, you may politely counter once or twice, but you shouldn't push it much farther than that. Don't let the arguing over the bill take away from the business exchange. You can take a preventative approach to avoid this experience by talking to the wait staff in advance or giving them your credit card ahead of time.
Rule 2: The rules of formality have changed. Today, the way women are addressed in a formal situation is much different than it used to be. Previously, married women were always identified by their husband's name. In the past, if I was married to a man named John Smith, I would have to be addressed as Mrs. John Smith. Today there are options - I could be Mrs. Anna Smith, Mrs. Anna Post or Ms. Anna Post and still follow proper formal etiquette. This is considered a huge departure and allows women many options about how they are presented in society.
Rule 3: If you're hosting, you're paying. On a date, the person who does the asking is the host. Women need to be careful with their language. If a woman wants to go on a date with a man, she should be ready to pay. Too often people say, "Let's go to dinner," which isn't very clear, instead of "I'd like to take you out to dinner." Women today need to tighten up their language, because it's no longer fair to assume it is the man's responsibility to take care of the check.
How do you think that the definition of female etiquette has changed in the years since Emily Post was alive?
Emily was a divorced career woman who died in 1960. While I don't believe Emily called herself a feminist, she did a good job of honestly reflecting where society was at a given time, and was very comfortable when it headed in a new direction. Women were the social event organizers in the 1960s, but society has really opened up to men participating as well, so I don't write etiquette advice just for women anymore, though they are still the largest demographic buying our books.
Open-mindedness and inclusiveness are two overarching themes that are reflected in good etiquette. Today we are much more conscious of etiquette as the idea of people doing things for people, versus a female or male point of view. Additionally, we are often leading the way in terms of how people should treat each other. For example, by 1946 Emily had dropped chaperones from her book, and in the 1990s we first wrote about wedding etiquette for same-sex couples. We believe that etiquette needs to be real to people's lives-it's not about arbitrarily dictating what people should or shouldn't do, but about reflecting how the world is.
If you could ask feminists one question, what would it be?
How do you define the challenges facing the feminist movement today?
The Feminist Queries: Cartoonist Jacky Fleming
Published January 15, 2009 @ 06:51AM PT
For the first round Feminist Queries, I have interviewed Jacky Fleming, a cartoonist based out of the UK. Fleming is known for her creative and sassy cartoons that shed light on the ironic, hilarious and overly amusing truths in the world with a special tact for communicating feminist values.
Take a look through the few questions I asked her, as well as the question she has for all of you.
How did you become a cartoonist?
First I just drew for pleasure, then turned some drawings into postcards, then approached publishers and drew several books (and more postcards), and now I draw a weekly. The first strip to appear in a magazine was drawn at college in response to an essay we had to write on the nude in art. I've never pursued a career - it's the ideas that come first, and drawing happens to be how I communicate best.
When did feminist themes enter your work?
Always. It's how I see the world. I remember at school when I was about 11, the boys choosing which of us lucky girls could meet them after school for a kiss. We were meant to feel privileged, but I can clearly remember feeling annoyed that they assumed the choosing was their right.
Where do you find inspiration for your art?
The inspiration's there all the time - the tricky part is being in the right frame of mind to catch it. It's about being receptive, and not trying too hard. Usually it's right under your nose.
What is one difference you see between feminists in the UK and the US? If not a difference, what makes feminism unique in the UK?
I suspect our culture is more backward because of its tradition of elitist boy's clubs, which are still alive and well.Many of our present Tory Party, including the man who hopes to be the next Prime Minister, were at Eton together, then were members of the Bullingdon Club - a notorious Oxford club for very wealthy public schoolboys who would go out for dinner, drink vast amounts of alcohol, smash the place up, and assume they could merely pay for any damage, and walk away. Posh vandals. Anyone else would be arrested. You have Christian fundamentalism to deal with, which fortunately we're spared.
What is your hope for the future of the feminist movement?
That women in both our cultures who have benefited from feminism, use it to help women and girls for whom freedom is still a pipe-dream. It breaks my heart that women spend money on cosmetic surgery when they could give it to Somaly Mam to get children out of brothels.
If you could ask feminists just one question, what would it be?
Are you having the most fun you can have doing the most worthwhile thing you can do?
