Show Me The Money: Why Don't More Women Ask For A Raise?
Published October 25, 2009 @ 06:51PM PT
The New York Times had an excellent op-ed this weekend by Joanne Lipman, the former deputy managing editor at The Wall Street Journal who was also the founding editor in chief of Condé Nast Portfolio magazine.
The piece titled, "The Mismeasure of Woman" reflects on the Shriver Report and catalogs many of the issues women face today in society: the false-positive sense of equality among young women, the effect of 9/11 on women, the stalled progress of women to achieve equal pay and crash through the glass ceiling to run Fortune 500 companies, law firms and businesses.
The part of the article that may have resonated the loudest for some was how women can end up being their own worst enemy in the job market:
In my time as an editor, many, many men have come through my door asking for a raise or demanding a promotion. Guess how many women have ever asked me for a promotion?
I'll tell you. Exactly ... zero.
Sure, it's a risk to ask for a raise. But women need to take risks - and to realize that at some point they will fail. This is an incredibly hard thing to do, especially for women brought up in a culture that celebrates unrealistic perfection in every sphere, from beauty to housekeeping.
Everyday I hear from a female friend who wants to earn more money at their job, but instead of negotiating a raise, they wait for their boss to do it for them. The problem with this method is that unless they receive a promotion it is unlikely their boss will step in and offer up company profits to their employees.
Additionally, many of my female friends don't always think about negotiating the salary they want when they start a new job, which is the most crucial time to leverage a better salary. No one should ever start a new job without a desirable base pay. It is very hard to jump a salary up by 10, 20 or 30 percent after you start working. While I believe there are systematic reasons behind why white women earn 77 cents, African American women earn only 69 cents and Latinas just 59 cents to to men's dollar - it is also our responsibility to take risks, negotiate a better pay and smash the glass ceiling once and for all.
For those in a position to negotiate salary or switch jobs here are a few tips I've learned along the way about getting the pay you want and deserve:
- Look ahead. When switching jobs ask for a salary that is 5 - 10% above the money you would receive if you were promoted tomorrow at your current job. This will ensure that you aren't losing out on money you could have earned by staying in the same place.
- Stay calm and collected. Even if you are desperate for any job, don't let the prospective employer realize that. By giving specific salary demands, it shows that you know the market landscape and what is a competitive rate for the position.
- Know your self worth and market worth. Measure everything you do from how many clients you work with, how much money you've been in charge of, and the unique relationships or networks you have that no one else can claim. These things should give you an advantage in the workplace and help you speak intelligently if your boss asks you why you deserve a raise.
- Don't budge. If a new employer doesn't offer you the number you want, then try to decline the job if you can afford it. It is probably not worth it in the long run if an employer isn't willing to start you at the salary you want and need.
- Negotiate additional benefits. If you can't get the exact salary you are looking for, try to negotiate additional benefits such as vacation, sick days or the ability to consult outside the business.
Finally, Lipman's op-ed does a great job summarizing the state of reminding all of us about the most important thing with any job, relationship or endeavor: "make sure respect is part of the equation too."
Respect, above anything else, is the best currency one can negotiate with. Give respect, get respect. It can be that easy.
What are your tips for getting the pay you want and deserve?
Photo Credit: Emdot
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Comments (8)
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Author
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Jen Nedeau is a social media consultant, progressive activist, feminist speaker and writer. She currently lives in New York City, where she works full-time as the Director of Digital Strategy at Air America Media. In August 2008, Nedeau was selected to be the Editor of the WomensRights.Change.Org where she facilitates daily discussion about the feminist movement. Additionally, Nedeau volunteers as the Chief Technology Officer for New Leaders Council, a non-profit that offers exclusive training for young leaders. You can follow her on Twitter @HumanFolly or learn more here: www.jennedeau.com.
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Posted by Joy-Mari Cloete on 10/26/2009 @ 12:47AM PT
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I don't ask for a raise because there is no point.
My company's methods of compensation are within fixed parameters, and salary increases are based on departmental-wide metrics. When a raise comes, it comes to everyone and in the same measure.
If I really want to change my salary, I have to move up the food chain. However, the only way to do that is to wait for a higher position to open up, and in the face of the current hiring freeze this is an extremely unlikely event.
The real problem is the stagnation of wages even while productivity continues to march upwards as the discussion at this link shows.
Of course upper management doesn't suffer such ailments. Our CEO just retired with a stated forty million dollar compensation package, and I have no doubt the real number is far higher.
Posted by Jenifer Lewis on 10/26/2009 @ 06:12AM PT
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Sorry -- I seem to have neglacted to include the link discussing wage stagnation in the face of rising productivity:
http://www.epi.org/publications/entry/bp195/
Personally I don't have a problem asking for a raise, but I understand many women do.
Unfortunately this is a lousy time to start asking, given the state of the economy, but it's more important than ever, given the state of the economy. ;-)
I wish you all well!
Posted by Jenifer Lewis on 10/27/2009 @ 05:39AM PT
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Great topic ... Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever's Women Don't Ask and Ask for It are very valuable resources here.
Posted by Jon Pincus on 10/26/2009 @ 11:41AM PT
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Honestly, Jen, we don't know how to ask for a raise. We don't know what we can ask for a raise. We don't know that we can negotiate for salary and benefits when we get a new job. Women don't get the mentoring that men do. I certainly didn't.
There were a lot of things I didn't figure out until a couple of years after I graduated from college (when I was about your age). Even though my computer science department was fairly mixed, we only had two female professors out of about a dozen. They didn't make enough of an effort to mentor the women.
My college's career development center worked really hard at getting us ready to get a job but didn't do much to help us for the "after" part. For that, I think women look to their friends, family and co-workers. If your friends, family and co-workers don't know you can ask for a raise, why would you ever think you could?
The other thing is that women need to learn that assertiveness is not the same as aggressiveness. Asking for what we want and need is OK. The worst thing they can do is say no.
Posted by Danine Spencer on 10/26/2009 @ 02:35PM PT
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Great point Danine...I know it's not easy to ask for a raise or negotiate salary and don't want to brush over that point. But I also think we have to be fearless and forge ahead rather than lament about what didn't happen in the past. We need to focus on what we can do in the present.
Posted by Jen Nedeau on 10/26/2009 @ 06:06PM PT
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I agree that we need to focus on what we can do in the present and future. In order to do that, we need to change the way women think, how they interact, the advice they give each other. For instance, after talking to my mother, sister, cousins, friends - all women who went to college, I had no idea I could negotiate my salary. Asking for a raise is something you're supposed to wait for your annual review.
It wasn't until I had absolutely nothing to lose that I started to learn these lessons: to promote myself, to ask for what I needed, etc. We have to change our culture so that women teach other women about these things. We also need to learn that it's OK to ask for what we need.
These two things need to be part of the solution.
Posted by Danine Spencer on 10/26/2009 @ 07:08PM PT
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I definatly agree that women should be more assertive and I concur with miss spencer that something needs to be done about the lack of mentoring for women...
1 suggestion may be to get some well respected women leaders to come and speak at mentoring groups and maybe have both a male and a female act as bosses with the students comming up and asking for raises/promotions...
Just a thought or 2.
Posted by Thomas McHugh on 10/26/2009 @ 07:59PM PT
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