Female Ambition Is Not A Curse
Published September 02, 2009 @ 07:50PM PT
I am an ambitious person. Ech, hem. I am an ambitious woman. And, apparently, according to Newsweek that distinction makes a difference.
This week the magazine unveiled a not so amusing Top 11 List of Female Ambition.
The article features the likes of Hillary Clinton, Carly Fiorina, Martha Stewart, Madonna, Anna Wintour, and Sarah Palin - to name a few. All of the women, except one - Yoko Ono - are white. And each article pretty much depicts the woman in question as one of two things as Allyson Kapin pointed out: a ball buster or a bitch.
While perhaps the article is meant to expose the blatant sexism thrown at women who take positions of power - is there really a need to regurgitate it? Nothing in the article is particularly empowering, but rather a reminder of just how far we need to go before this "treacherous combination" of an ambitious woman becomes palatable in the national consciousness.
Personally, I don't buy it. Newsweek did a shoddy reporting job - if it really wanted to talk about female ambition I would have made it clear that women have always been ambitious and always will. It is a natural trait. Power is nothing foreign to the female species - we are just often told it's not very "feminine" if we show it off, but that doesn't mean we aren't well acquainted with it.
For me, when I want something, I go after it - and usually if I work hard, I get it. I have been told several times in my life that I'm "intimidating" - but never a "bitch" (at least to my face). I don't apologize for my success - in fact, I try to share it and use it as a means to inspire others to achieve their dreams. I am direct, but not rude. I hold people accountable and I expect them to do the same with me. I call it like it is. If I see something happening that I don't like - I say something. I try to be an honest broker in a world which is full of deception, ulterior motives and disingenuous people - something that is always hard for me to come to terms with because I am an eternal optimist - not only for myself, but those around me. Getting to do what I want, following my dreams and standing up for myself isn't selfish in my book - it's what the boys have been doing for years.
The truth is that Newsweek missed a big point: ambitious women make this world a better place, not a "scarier" one. Without ambitious women like Cleopatra, Oprah Winfrey, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Zainab Salbi, Rachel Maddow, Gloria Steinam, Sojourner Truth - and many others - the world would be a much worse off in my opinion.
Female ambition is not a curse. But if you want the attention of ambitious women - I've got one clue for you, Newsweek - offending them is not usually the best route. Even ambitious women enjoy some form of flattery.
So ladies, please don't fall into this trap. You're not a bitch or a ball buster if you consider yourself ambitious. You are being exactly what you are meant to be: a woman.
Photo credit: Kyle Rush
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Comments (12)
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Author
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Jen Nedeau is a social media consultant, progressive activist, feminist speaker and writer. She currently lives in New York City, where she works full-time as the Director of Digital Strategy at Air America Media. In August 2008, Nedeau was selected to be the Editor of the WomensRights.Change.Org where she facilitates daily discussion about the feminist movement. Additionally, Nedeau volunteers as the Chief Technology Officer for New Leaders Council, a non-profit that offers exclusive training for young leaders. You can follow her on Twitter @HumanFolly or learn more here: www.jennedeau.com.
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Very valid points in your post... and indeed a sad commentary that articles like this still appear in national media in 2009. As for the bitch moniker, I've come to consider it a badge of honor - because it's often coming as a retort from someone feeling threatened by feminine self-assurance. In those moments, I remind myself of the acronym I learned from a friend: a B. I. T. C. H. is: a Babe In Total Control of Herself.
The humor diffuses the notion that as a female I should feel compelled to apologize for wanting to be more, not less. And as I've shared the meaning of B. I. T. C. H. with women friends who've been on the receiving end of those sentiments - it never fails to bring a smile - and a nod. Yes, we get it... Now can we just all get over it?
Posted by Carol Lynn Martens on 09/02/2009 @ 09:26PM PT
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I agree that the notion of women with power being either a bitch or a ball buster is wayyyyy out dated...Kinda like believing the earth is flat and that we live in a theocracy.
Although...I must admit...I like the way miss martens defines "bitch"...
Posted by Thomas McHugh on 09/02/2009 @ 10:25PM PT
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Yes, "babe in total control of herself" is a fun one. Glad you see this article as retro as I do...
Posted by Jen Nedeau on 09/03/2009 @ 02:29PM PT
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I don't see a story here. I know not one person Who does not want The women in Their lives to be ambitious. More than 60 % of college students are women. I would like to see some more ambition in some young men I know though!
Posted by Charlie Reed on 09/06/2009 @ 05:53PM PT
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Charlie, you must know some really great people. However, even if we don't personally experience sexism, racism, classism or any other -ism, others still do, and that still makes it a social problem. Does that make sense?
Posted by Juan Portillo on 09/09/2009 @ 03:26PM PT
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If that's the case, Charlie then I would love to meet your friends!
I think many men AND women would say that want women to be ambitious...but what many really mean is they want it so long as we stick to the "pink-collar" work and not get in their way. And in my personal experience I have been referred to as a bitch, big-mouthed, non-lady-like, etc. (and I typically take it as a both a bit frustrating and also as a compliment considering the source) by just as many repressed women as I have men...possibly even more, which just reinforces my belief that there is still so much more work to be done.
I think Newsweek could have had a great article on there hands, had they had a better approach. We really do not need to be reminded of how Hilary, Palin, and Martha, were treated and viewed. For those of us who get it...we got it! And for those who do not...well this article certainly isnt going to shine the light.
Posted by Lisa Sullivan on 09/08/2009 @ 10:37AM PT
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Lisa, all My friends brag about both Their wives and Their daughters' accomplishments. I know if I am ever married again it will be to an educated, successful woman. I can't stand to be ten minutes with a stupid, uninformed woman. I have grown more protective of My time as I get older. (Of course if a woman was smart enough for Me, She would be too smart to have Me. lol)
Posted by Charlie Reed on 09/08/2009 @ 04:54PM PT
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Call a spade a spade! Everybody wants to hear the truth but nobody likes it. Truth is a tough love, it's a hard pill. Being ambitious is perhaps-such truth for women. Having ambitions doesn't make a women scarier it actually makes her more serene. All aspirations emanate from the mind and our mind is pure unless we inject it with prejudices. The fact is that woman is living in a world that has been made scarier for her and not the other way round. A good re shot perhaps for any newsmagazine. In my view, ambitions are not bound to demarcations or distinctions. As Jen Nedue rightly says, ‘ambitions are just a natural trait'. Our ambitions are our state of expression to be in a world that is free and fair too. Achieving ambitions especially for a woman is getting out of her shell and trying to realize her potential. Imagine if every woman around the world did so, this world would have been a better habitat. The problem however centers around just talking about rights and empowerment but when it comes to actually implementing it by empowering even one single women its like a big buster! Empowering women is like ennobling her to further enable a nation. The sooner we realize this, the better it is.
Posted by Barkha Dhar on 09/08/2009 @ 07:28PM PT
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Ambition is great. Ambition is necessary. It has been traditionally seen as a male trait but it's a human trait.
It is sad how many people don't like to see ambitious women. It reminds me of the article posted here some time ago, that talked about a phony story about how women making more money than their husbands were not as happy or something like that.
Society still tries to find ways to keep women down, make them less threatening, etc. That is why people like Hillary Clinton are given negative labels like "ball buster", when she's just being awesome. That is also why women like Semenya are given a makeover, to make them look less threatening to men. It is really sad and idiotic... sigh.
Posted by Juan Portillo on 09/09/2009 @ 03:56PM PT
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I'm sorry, but they did not give Semenya a makeover to make her look less threatening to men. In fact, it was probably to make her look less threatening to women, which is who she was competing against.
But now that it turns out she is a transvestite, I guess your point is further invalidated.
Posted by Dave Magic on 09/13/2009 @ 10:51AM PT
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First of all, she's not transvestite (transvestite = the practice of cross-dressing, fyi). She may be intersexual (biologically 2 sexes), but she is caught up in the middle of a world where you have to choose only from 2 genders. A dominant one and a dominated one.
"OMGZ this women is too fast!!1" people say, "so maybe she's not a woman, there's no way a woman can be that fast". Same reaction as when black men dominated the olympics in Berlin. At the time it was believed they were an inferior race, so people tried to justify it by saying they are genetically better at sports. Both assumptions were not true. All races have the same potential, intellectually and physically.
Anyway, coming back to this, you do have one good point in which I must correct myself. She was made less threatening to women, like you said, but also to men. If that makes you feel uncomfortable, then raising the question of how messed up her situation is (for all people who feel hardcore traditional gender roles are keeping society from evolving) is working.
Posted by Juan Portillo on 09/13/2009 @ 11:34AM PT
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Jen, your thoughts on how ambitious women make this world a better place are very true. Yes, it's valid that ambitious women may be considered a little too outgoing and wild, especially considering their traditional roles in society, but it is those women who actually bring about change and impact the world.
Many women like Mother Theresa, Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, and Hiliary Clinton have given the courage to many other women to become ambitous and become more active in order to make a difference in the world. It is through is ambition that we can slowly start to break away from the barriers of social injustice.
Posted by Asmani TULIP on 09/13/2009 @ 06:16PM PT
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