Where were the men when women needed *them* in the fight for gender equality?  OK, granted, men had to vote for, pass, and ratify women's suffrage in the Constitution, but that was only because women weren't allowed to vote.  And men handed down Roe vs. Wade, but mainly because a woman had never been appointed to the Supreme Court before that time.  Other than that, when we have gained rights we have largely done it in spite of men, not because of them.  If they now feel beleaguered by feminism it's their fault, not ours.  THEY must choose to be our allies and it is not ou job to make them feel comfortable here.  To suggest that it is is to buy into the same tired old meme that the patriarchy pushes, that it's a woman's job to make a man feel good about himself.

Men *shouldn't* feel good about themselves when it comes to gender relations.  They spend more time trying to impress us so they can get laid, than they do fomenting any genuine change. There isn't a reason ONE that women should still be struggling so hard to be treated with equal respect and taken seriously.  It's this stupid system of male machismo that keeps getting in the way.  They could stop it at any time and they choose not to.

Rape's a classic example. Average Guy's response to a rape story is a hasty assurance to the nearest female bystander that HE is not like that.  Dude, don't tell ME.  Tell the next guy you hear repeating the latest rape joke.  It isn't about you getting a damn date.  It's about women's LIVES.

Abortion's another one.  I swear, your average liberal guy favors legal abortion more because it lets him off the hook than because of any real concern over women's bodily autonomy/integrity.  There's a fair overlap, I've observed, between pro-choice men and men who pester for sex.

Meanwhile, Warren Farrell is a fraud.  And you want to know why there are more women in college than men?  Because moe women sign up--we are still covered under whatever affirmative action laws have survived the neocon onslaught, so if we weren't signing up in those numbers we would assuredly not be outnumbering the men.  And why do we sign up in such numbers?  Because it's easier for men to get well-paying jobs without a college degree.  While factory jobs have been bleeding out to the developing world under various trade agreements for some time now, contractor jobs cannot be similarly outsourced, and that has always been a standby for men everywhere, along with similar work.  When women try to enter those fields we're sexually harassed and assaulted until we give up and leave again.  Not to mention all the women who've wound up single parents, many of which have seen the male parent renege on his support responsibilities, and who must attend school if they have any hope for a better life.  Your average single mom's got to pay somebody to watch her young children.  Your average single dad asks his mom or girlfriend or sister.

I won't deny there are some aspects of the patriarchy that oppress men who are not socially perceived as being in "father" roles (patriarchy means "rule of the fathers," not "rule of men").  But asking women to do something about this when we didn't make the rules to begin with is profoundly insulting.

I used to participate in a subculture in which, of all things, straight men felt free to walk around in skirts.  They didn't do that because women made it OK for them.  They did it because THEY decided they were fed up with the patriarchy and didn't want to participate in it anymore.  I once overheard a group of men from the same subculture talking about the women of the group when they thought no women were listening, praising us and talking about how wonderful we were as human beings.  That kind of male-to-male reinforcement is what is needed.  Feminist women ALREADY know change is needed.  You guys need to tell one another now, and act under your own power, just as we have had to act under ours.

Dana, I have never in My 56 years heard a "rape" joke! The subject is rarely discussed by Men, when it is, it is done with extreme gravity. If the Men You are hanging around with think rape is a laughing matter, You need new male friends!

I do think We have a long way to go on womens' equal pay. I do not think We men need a "revolution". Some of Us are getting pretty sick of a culture that portrays Us as lazy, stupid, selfish, or sneaky. Pay a little closer attention to sitcoms, (if you can bear the brain drain) I'm pretty sure You won't have much trouble finding the bias. Regarding the subject of men in college, for a long time now there has been somewhat of a cultural push to make boys think it is uncool to be smart or study hard. Recall derogatory terms such as "nerd or geek" I have a hard time seeing how this can do Our society any good. I honestly doubt this was the goal of feminism.

Ok, this is my opinion.   Stop focusing on us as men and you as women.  Focus on "us" as human beings.  Gender only applies if you're looking to procreate.  (which, by the way, we need to sloooow down on, but that's another discussion)  All the "men only" and "women only" groups are ridiculous.  But again, it's just my opinion, I'm not saying I'm right, it's how I see things.  We become more seperated when we put our focus on gender    .....put the focus on " us " as human, as people.  This should not stop at gender, it's across the board, human is human.

Graham, well spoken! I think that logic should be applied to whatever descriptions separate homo sapiens from each other. Race, ethnicity, whatever!

"Evolving modern gender roles requires an evaluation by everyone - not just women."

I don't think we should be evolving modern gender roles at all, Jen. It will only get us in a new bind, just like the one we're breaking out of now. Gender roles don't need to be "fixed," they need to be antiquated and forgotten. Why can't we just move into a future where each of us decides for ourselves how we're going to run our lives and what we're going to do and not to do, and not allow society to decide that for us through gender roles? I agree, however, that gender roles can be as stifling for men as they are for women. I just don't think that a new set of them will solve the problem.

Scratch a 'men's rights' advocate, find a misogynist. Or some guy who spent 10 hours a week with his kids before the divorce, and is bitter, bitter, bitter that his ex who was the primary caregiver ended up with custody. It never fails.

Their argument has as much credence as me saying that, since a lot of autoworkers who also happen to be white have lost their jobs, and since the president is black now, my white skin is actually a disadvantage to me. That would be stone cold stupid and if I were to believe such a thing, the only proper response would be to mock me every time I appeared in public.

Natasha, I believe in "peoples rights". I am not prepared at this time to say My rights have eroded significantly, there are clearly some issues that need addressing. In My divorce I was given custody of My two and half year old daughter. The following year My tax refund was seized. When I explained to the clerk that She had the wrong party, She stated that I had paid no support. When explained that I was the custodial parent, She was indignant and demanded an explanation why I had custody. When My daycare provider explained that a registered nurse was receiving state aid with daycare, I applied. I was told I make to much (without asking how much I made) When I explained that a nurse made a lot more than Me, She rudely put forth the theory that "You are just trying to take away from the single working mother". I have other examples, but lets' keep it short. Normally I want nothing from govt., but this took away from My daughter. I know We need to come forward with womens' rights, but It is not as simple as You want to believe.

Natasha, Although I spent with weekends roughly 52 hours a week awake time with My daughter, I would have some empathy though for a hard working person Who managed to get in 10 hours per week. I would like to see a lot more, but some people need to work hours like that to make it work. I was lucky, The business I ran as a second job was one I could take Her along on. Not everyone is so lucky.

Ugh, this movement already exists. It's called feminism.

MRA's are invariably, in my experience, concerned with promoting men's privilage, gender roles, and gender essentialism, not equality, as this article seems to suggest.  They usurp the language of feminism to hide what is essentially sexism.  Kind of like calling a Latina judge racist to hide your racism.

Also, this student group was originally a joke, satire, but some male students actually thought it was a good idea and it became real.  Somehow I don't think their focus is on freeing men from the cultural constraints of traditional masculinity and gender norms...