Try to stay healthy, yes, not try to stay a certain size. For some reason, people think that thin equals healthy. Though obesity can be dangerous, so is being underweight.

Cutting out entire food groups solely for the goal of losing weight is indeed disordered eating. Some people have health concerns that require them to limit what they can eat, but most do not. Human beings need protein, fat and carbs to function properly.  Binging on large quantities of junk food is also disordered eating. And excessively exercising, never giving your body a chance to recuperate, just to balance out calorie intake is a form of purging. All of these things - restricting, binging and purging - are extreme measures.

But why do we think these extreme measures are acceptable? Because we are obsessed with a thin ideal. Our society is willing to sacrifice anything, including health and sanity, to get there. And we will work to justify these actions and beliefs as well. Have you heard of calorie restriction societies? Warning, this might be triggering to people in recovery from an ED, but for everyone else it makes for interesting reading: http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2006/11/22/cr_diets/index.html.

We live in a society that believes skinny is IN.  UNHEALTHY and unrealistic images are flashed in our faces daily, through all forms of media, to substantiate this belief.  Common sense should dictate that weight, like height and shoe sizes are DNA regulated.  Set weight and heights are hereditary.  If your parents are large people, you too, will have these characteristics.  Caucasian women have more instances of weight and eating disorders than other populations because their men buy into the SKINNY ad campaigns.  Other cultures are more excepting of larger bodies because if you are large, it means you are more capable of bearing healthier children. 
Eating healthy foods, excerising 30 minutes a day, and drinking lots of water will achieve the goal of being healthy.

   I didn't automatically correlate a mini-van, with an obese person. My mind immediately headed toward,"soccer mom," or the,"trophy wife." These are the women I see working out 7 days a week. Either way, our society does have a problem with food.
   I don't think drinking diet soda is healthy. Its been linked to obesity, diabetes, and urinay tract problems. Still, I know women that drink 4 or 5 a day, and they are unable to fit in a certain size.
   Women are mean to other women. Instead of helping the obese; they laugh and judge. (Mz. Yazdani, up there is a perfect example.) She says, big and beatiful, can't be healthy. I know people with thyroid problems, that are very healthy; yet still, over weight.
   Our society has created this. They push junk food on us, like it's one of the daily staples on the food pyramid. They show images of Paris Hilton eating a giant hamburger; yet, we never see super thin people eating hamburgers in their bathing suits.Wow, it's easy to see how women get confused.

Amen Julie!  Thank you for your article on the sick relationship women, American Women, have with their body image and food.  I often witness my friends and I have an unrealistic relationship with food and dieting.  It is not enough to take personal responsibility for our health but we often take the idea of health and twist that concept in our everyday actions of, "To Eat Carbohydrates Or To Not". Women are their worst jury and executioner. As a feminist, I only hope I'm strong enough where I could enjoy a vacation, wedding, and photos without my weight being the forefront! 

Diet Soda is dangerous all that fake sugar causes cancer please people just drink normal soda~!

Wellness, not illness...

It is sad to see people jaded by an enterprise system that rewards expensive unnatural solutions and cheap non-nutritional foods, while entangling good natural solutions with poor fad substitutes.

For example, the carbonic acid in sodas can dissolve a tooth overnight, eat through an unprotected aluminum can and weaken the protective immune systems of the body.  The fake pleasures of a nutritionally deficient diet soda probably only serve to re-inforce the twisted cycle that is illustrated here.  Why do we even allow diet sodas to be offered as a means to provide pleasure while reducing weight?

Where's the common sense here?

We have the solutions to wellness, if we could only get the right people to think clearly, and educate the people on what it truly means to be healthy...

Although I mean no disrespect, I find (as a big, beautiful woman) that Yazdani's comments above that big = unhealthy to be quite narrow minded.  To simply suggest that because a person is big must mean they are unhealthy is just the stereotype perpetuated by much of our society.  I suppose then that the assumption is if you're "big" you must eat everything in sight, fail to exercise and are probably sloppy in appearance, right?  Wrong!  As "L.S. hope" pointed out above, there are many factors to be considered before labeling a big person unhealthy.  

Having been heavy all of my life, I know all too well how a lot of society views me.  However, it's a personal choice not to subscribe to those ideologies that thin is somehow better or more appropriate.  A lot of women unfortunatley get sucked in to the hype, which often results in an unhealthy attempt to fit in. 

While I realize this article focuses on women and their relationship with food, I think it's worth noting that American society in general (women and men) has an interesting relationship with food.  American society is a social society and food is often at the center of it.  I know this to be true in my circle.  All of my social gatherings include a menu of some sort.  We no longer eat to simply sustain our lives (as was the case in the hunter/gather days).  Instead, many of us turn to food for comfort.  A lot of people may also remember the old, "clean your plate" rule.  This was a strict rule in my household that was etched in my brain, so much so that I learned poor eating habits early on that haunt me in my adult life.  I think this is where real change begins...in the home.

If a person is taught early enough about eating "right" chances are they will develop a healthy relationship with food.  While this may not preclude everyone from developing disorders later in life, it at the very least lays a strong foundation that you'd hope would allow an individual to relate to food on a more positive level.  Furthermore, learning a healthy lifestyle may inturn enable more women to have a positive self-image, learning to love themselves imperfections and all and not subscribe to society's stereotype that eating cake is a bad thing.          

The Aspartame in diet drinks is very dangerous.  We have a daughter that has been diagnosed with a brain dysfunction and nerve problem after beginning to drink diet drinks.  Since the Aspartame stores in the fat cells, it has taken us about 20 intense years to get her stabilized. 

Aspartame causes brain tumors in rats.  Why are so many children having brain tumors in the past 15-20 years? How many mothers and pregnant women do you see drinking diet drinks? Children drink what Mom drinks!

What diseases are related to nerve problems?  Why do we have so many children being born with Autism?  Why are children so hyperactive? Hope these questions are thought provoking.

We are like sheep lead by the advertising industry to the slaughter!

Okay then, I'll clarafy myself if we're going to be so politically correct here.

When I say big I naturally meant someone who is blatantly obese, not someone who is a size 8.

I'm taking this in a literal sense. You're a healthy size when you're not likely to be diagnosed with diabetes or heart problems because of your weight. 

 BMI Categories:
Underweight = <18.5
Normal weight = 18.5-24.9
Overweight = 25-29.9
Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

Is it safe to say that someone who has a BMI of 30 or greater is unhealthy, regardless of whether or not they love their own body?
And someone with a BMI of under 18.4 is unealthy.
Obviously, most models do not fit the healthy criteria then. A relationship with fastfood and deserts isn't a healthy diet. That's a luxury diet.

A relationship with food that is supplement to your body's health, is indeed, healthy.

Hey, I have my cake and eat it too, but not excessively. I'm being realistic here. There's a difference between a healthy mentality and a healthy body.

clarify*

What Ms. Rossi and Retta pointed out are alarmingly true. Diet sodas, or anything without any calories deregulate our body's capability to judge calorie intake.

I actually went to Seattle with some other fencers, and they ate a lot. They ate more so they would have more energy, and because of that they burned more. I tried the same, and boy, when I was fencing I could feel my body heating up as it burned the fat.

So thus I started eating more. Never actually gained a pound either.

There is such a difference between eating eggs, toast, and orange juice for breakfast as opposed to a bowl of lucky charm cereal or two pop-tarts.
While lucky charms and chocolate poptarts might taste better, the first breakfast I mentioned is without a doubt healthier. And you can feel the effects--For me, I wasn't falling asleep in class; I was alert, I had much more energy than before.

So I do believe a healthy diet can and will also provide a healthy mentality.

Hindsight is 20/20... I've never had a "weight problem" but as a teen I thought I was a disgusting blob.  I now look at pictures of myself and see a girl who was underweight, I know I had unhealthy eating habits (skipping meals, especially).

It's taken me many years to form a healthy relationship with my body image.  Thankfully, I found Yoga when I was 23 and that has been a powerful influence in my view of myself. 

But, on the flip side, I see my mother, who is about to turn 60, still seeing herself as overweight (she is NOT) and unattractive (she IS so pretty...).  It's sad, frustrating, and not empowering at all. 

To feel good about yourself is probably one the greatest powers a woman can have.  It's finding that power that is the struggle...

I would never, ever think of letting one of our kids go to school without breakfast or skip lunch, even our big strong six foot guy who is a senior in high school.  Believe me this kid is capable of taking care of himself just fine, but when he came home from school especially hungry because he skipped lunch, I had “bad mommy pangs.”  

What kind of mother would send her child to school without lunch or lunch money?

Me.  A hypocritical mother.  A mother who says one thing but has modeled an unhealthy relationship with food.  

I frequently skip lunch and/or breakfast.  Why do I do that to myself?  Shouldn't I treat myself as well as I treat my children?  What kind of behavior am I modeling for my children?

I am burdening my children with bad life skills when I model bad eating habits.  I insist that they eat breakfast but I skip it.   

The worst part, as evidenced in the comment above by Lisa Smolen, eventually children recognize that behavior as dysfunctional.  Although I believe my kids love me, as Lisa Smolen obviously loves her mother, I know they have less respect for me.

That tastes worse than any food ever tastes.

Denise Burks

www.successfulweightlossinthesuburbs.blogspot.com 

You are a good daughter.  Sometimes it is difficult for a Mom to admit that she is the student.  It sounds like you are using a gentle and loving hand.  I recently read "Moose:  a memoir of fat camp" by Stephanie Klein (http://stephanieklein.com/books).  Stephanie has some really interesting observations about her relationship with food and with her mother.

Oh, goodness, what a complicated set of topics!!!

Warmest Regards,

Denise Burks
www.successfulweightlossinthesuburbs.blogspot.com